Coupons -- They'll Save You Money and Make You Laugh

I've been clipping coupons since last August and, let me tell you, it has changed my life. With the help of a fabulous website, Southern Savers, I have learned how to stretch my budget farther than I ever could have imagined. I cut my weekly grocery bills by at least half (sometimes more) and my shopping goal is always to save at least as much as I spend. On several shopping trips, my total savings have actually exceeded my expenditures. If you ever see me gleefully dancing my way out of Publix, you can bet I just had one of those really good shopping trips. Anyway......

Before last August, I never looked through the coupon inserts. I didn't think it was worth it. In fact, I hardly ever read a hard copy of the newspaper. You can read all the articles online, so why buy the paper? I had no idea I was missing out on so much. Not only have coupons saved me money, but skimming through those inserts never fails to make me laugh.

Looking through the inserts, you'll find all kinds of money-saving coupons for all kinds of useful products; but, sprinkled throughout, you'll also find advertisements. Ads for clothes, shoes, baby dolls, jewelry, and strange-looking undergarments...for women and men.

Take for instance, the man girdle. No, the ad doesn't refer to it as a "man girdle," but there's no denying, that's what it is. The "Men's Slimming Shaper flattens your stomach and your whole upper body with no effort." It also makes your back fat disappear. "Smoothes your back for a leaner appearance -- without bulges!" And the best part? It "looks like a normal undershirt!" Each of these statements, combined with the before and after cartoon drawings (not to mention, the product itself) make me laugh out loud. I asked Heath if he wanted one. He declined. But, if I've peaked your interest, you can head over to their website (fourcorners.com) to place your order.

And here's one for the ladies: The "'LIPO' Tummy Shaper" Not only will this shaper smooth out your bulges and enhance your bustline, but "your friends will swear you've had liposuction." Yes. That's just what I want my friends to think -- that I've had liposuction. This shaper does even more than make you look skinny. It actually makes you skinny with "hundreds of bio ceramic dots woven into the fabric for 'far infrared weight loss!" This is truly amazing. Like the man girdle, this ad also has the unbelievable, but "true," before and after cartoon drawings. One look at these images and you'll be sold. Go ahead. Banish the bulge and fake a liposuction surgery with this "Tummy Shaper." You know you want to! This website also has several other products worth taking a laugh at look at.


The one that got me rolling today was the ad for the gingham zip-front patio dress (pictured above). "The perfect dress for spring and summer no matter what the occasion." Yes, if you are staying home with all the doors closed and the shades rolled down. I started picturing myself wearing one of these out and about, running errands, going to the grocery store, taking the kids to the park, going to church, maybe even a July 4th cookout. I pictured other people wearing them too. The images in my head just got funnier and funnier. This is definitely the perfect summer dress. By adding a few of these to your wardrobe, you can actually save yourself some money because you'll have no need to purchase the "Tummy Shaper." All joking aside, if you ever see me in one of these dresses, go ahead and stage an intervention. I may not be the most fashionable person around, but if I'm wearing one of these, obviously any fashion sense I did have, was flushed down the toilet. I'm sorry to say this particular item cannot be purchased online (hence, the picture of the ad).

And Then There Were Two, Again...and Again

We all grew accustomed to Jack being here with us in the mornings. Jacob always asked when he was coming and wondered who would be bringing him, his mommy or his daddy. He, quite often, would tell me how much he liked Baby Jack -- even better than he liked his own sister. I am sure this was because Jack wasn't mobile yet, so he couldn't really get into Jacob's toys. The first thing Annabelle said when she woke up in the morning was, "Dah" or "Jah." Those were her words for Jack. And I became attached to the little guy. He's just so cute and has the most adorable laugh. So, when his mom told me they would be moving, we were all very sad. Of course, we are happy for Jack and his family because this is a good move, but we sure do miss them!

Jack, want me to read you a story from the phone book? This is the best book EVER!!

Let me hold that pacifier!

EYES!!

It's been a few weeks, now, since Jack has been at our house, but Jacob still asks, "Is Jack coming today?" and Annabelle still says his name from time to time when she sees a toy that Jack played with while he was here. The good thing is, Jack and his family didn't move too far away. At least, they're still in the same state. Hopefully, we'll be able to see him from time to time.

So, Jack left....and then there were two -- only two children in the house. But not for long! The following week, Katie came over since she was on spring break. Jacob was very excited to have Katie around again. They played, nonstop, from the minute she walked into the house until she left. Each day she was here, the two of them took off running at full speed all....day.....long. They had so much fun. Annabelle had fun playing with Katie, too. And Katie enjoyed playing "little mommy" to Annabelle, helping to feed her breakfast, trying to carry her around the house, etc... :)

Katie loved her new swim goggles. For a day to two, she would not take them off!

We had an Easter egg hunt in the backyard. Before I hid the eggs, I filled several of them with things like fruit snacks, little chocolate eggs, and raisins. Jacob and Katie were extremely happy with their findings. When they had found and opened all their eggs, they asked if they could have another egg hunt. So, I brought all the eggs back inside and refilled them. Only this time, I used stickers instead of candy. After finding all the eggs a second time, they began opening them one by one to see what was inside -- stickers. Jacob said, "I don't have any candy in mine!" Katie responded, "I don't have any either!" The tone of their voices let me know they were disappointed. Where was the candy? They eventually got over it. They liked the stickers, but I guess, to a kid, candy is like the forbidden fruit. When they are actually allowed to have it, they want all they can get!!

Katie doesn't realize it, but her crackers are about to get stolen.

Like I mentioned earlier, Katie and Jacob played hard all day long every day that she was here. Jacob was exhausted at the end of each day. To give you an idea of just how tired he was, check out this video that I took at dinner one night:

Heath went for a run and pushed Jacob in the stroller. Jacob fell asleep soon after they left the house. I let him sleep for a little while when they returned home, thinking he might wake up after a few more minutes. I was wrong. Obviously, he was way too tired to even wake up for dinner.

Now, once again, there are only two children in the house. I can't really say that it's any quieter around here. Jacob and Annabelle are two very busy children. Jacob doesn't know the meaning of the word "quiet" and Annabelle gets more vocal everyday. Not to mention, their favorite pastime is getting into trouble. Those two, alone, definitely keep me on my toes.

EASTER 2010

If you ask Jacob why we celebrate Easter, he'll quickly tell you, "because Jesus died on the cross!" That's right. And what happened on Easter? "He came back alive!" Although he may not fully understand the meaning of it all, Jacob knows what Easter is. I must admit, I am happy about that. To Annabelle, Easter is a time when you get to play with a lot of little plastic eggs. Oh happy day.

Last year, when we tried to teach him to say, "He is risen, indeed" in response to "He is risen," Jacob proudly shouted, "He is risen...in Steve!" This year, his pronunciation has gotten much better. No more Steve. :)

Easter Sunday was a little hectic, as usual, but we made it to church just in time. Why is it that Sunday morning is ALWAYS the craziest morning of the week?? Heath had already been there for over three hours by the time the rest of us arrived. He got up at 4:30 AM so he could be at the sunrise service. I'd really like to go to that service someday...maybe when Jacob and Annabelle are a little older.

When we returned home, it was almost 3:00 PM. Jacob and Annabelle had passed out in the car after lunch. We put them in bed to finish their naps and they slept until a little after 5:00 PM. They were worn out. After all, Easter is a big day.

When naptime was over, Jacob and Annabelle awoke to find that the Easter Bunny had paid them a visit and filled their baskets with all kinds of fun things. How exciting!

It was good that we had the Easter baskets as a distraction. My parents came down to spend Easter weekend with us and left soon after we got home Sunday afternoon. Jacob and Annabelle were both sound asleep when they left, so there were no formal goodbyes. When Jacob woke up, Papa and Nana were gone, and he started to boo-hoo. It was nice to have them here for Easter. I think the last time we spent Easter with family was when we visited my sister in DC two years ago. Holidays just seem more special with family around.

After going through their baskets, we dyed eggs. Jacob asked if dying eggs was a "project." Then he asked if it was a "training exercise." I'm sure he must have gotten that from a Playhouse Disney show. Annabelle enjoyed the "training exercise," although, I think she was just a bit upset that we wouldn't let her drink the cups of egg dye. We managed to dye nine eggs with hardly any mess. Wow. That is quite an accomplishment if I do say so myself. Sorry, I don't have any pictures of this activity. I was too busy trying to keep someone from drinking the dye and another someone from dying his fingers. I do have a picture of the finished products:

I'll Have the Chicken Marsala with a Side of Heavy Smoke, Please

What the recipe states: Heat the olive oil over medium-high flame in a large skillet. When the oil is nice and hot, dredge both sides of the chicken cutlets in the seasoned flour, shaking off the excess. Slip the cutlets into the pan and fry for 5 minutes on each side until golden, turning once.

What this means in my hands: Turn on all fans. Open all windows and doors. Your house is about to be so filled with smoke you may not be able to see or breathe.

It's happened several times before. It happened again, yesterday. This must be a conspiracy, don't you think? I am sure my stove, skillet, oil and poultry of the day somehow get together for a team meeting and conspire against me to fill my house with smoke everytime I decide to try what sounds like a delicious recipe. Yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds. Ok, so maybe it's not a conspiracy. I'll blame it on the stove. My stove seems to get extra hot. If a recipe states that something should be cooked over medium-high heat, I know I need to turn it down a notch and instead, try medium first. I know this, but I don't always do it. Hence, a house filled with smoke.

Yesterday as I was cooking, the first few pieces of chicken turned out just right -- absolutely perfect. Then, as I put in the last couple pieces, the smoke billowed up and was quickly out of control. Jacob, who was playing in the living room, shouted, "Why is it so foggy in our house?" I was already laughing because I couldn't believe I had caused all this smoke AGAIN, but Jacob's question made me laugh even harder. Fog?!?! How funny! I turned on all the fans in the house and opened the doors, trying to help the problem. It was so bad, I felt like I could hardly breathe. Jacob ran to the pantry and grabbed the broom. He waved it through the air (I guess, fanning the smoke away) shouting, "I can save the day! I can save the day!" As I laughed hysterically at Jacob and our smoke situation, I waited to hear the smoke alarm. Can you believe not one smoke alarm went off?? Hmmmmmm.....

I was hoping most of the smoke would clear before Heath arrived home, but just as I was thinking that, I heard the door open. Then, a split second later, "What are you doing in here?!?!" Oh, just cooking dinner -- chicken marsala with a heavy side of smoke. Hungry?

Eventually, the smoke did clear and we all took our places around the dinner table. The chicken marsala was actually very good. Despite the smoke, nothing was burnt...except the oil in the pan. Unfortunately, while the smoke went away, the smell lingered....and lingers still. I'm not sure how to get rid of it. Any tips? Our house and all its contents smell like oil. It's not what I would call a pleasant aroma. I guess I'll just have to wait a few days for it to dissipate. In the meantime, perhaps a little (or a lot) of Febreze will do the trick.

Now....what's on tonight's dinner menu? I do not know, but I can assure you, it will not involve the smoky combination of my stove, a skillet, olive oil and poultry. Sandwiches anyone?

But I Was Only Trying to Help

Well, we've made it through the rest of the week. Can you believe it? I wasn't sure how it would turn out after Monday's turn of events. Jacob cried and whined off and on for two days because he wanted Mr. Monkey's cousin, but I never gave in. His most prized posession was returned to him last night, just before he went to bed. Jacob has had his moments since Monday, but things have been better...a little bit. He calmed down for the most part, but the time-out corner is still on his list of most frequently visited places. People keep telling me things will get better...eventually. That is definitely encouraging. :)

Earlier this week, after the horrible day, there was an incident for which I could not punish him. Heath was at Lowe's, buying a replacement bulb for our bathroom. He called and asked me to check the wattage to make sure he was buying the correct one. I climbed up onto the counter, removed the burnt out bulb and walked over to the computer desk in another part of the house. Jacob and Annabelle had followed me into the bathroom and they followed me out...or so I thought.

Jacob was in the living room, but while I was on the phone with Heath, Annabelle walked over to me and handed me a little piece of toilet paper. I turned around and saw a trail of toilet paper which Annabelle had unrolled and pulled through our room, the living room, the foyer, and the dining room. We're talking half of a roll of toilet paper here. As I noticed the toilet paper, I also noticed an unpleasant aroma. Annabelle needed a clean diaper, so I decided to change her before I picked up her paper trail. While I was changing her diaper, Jacob came in the room with a huge pile of toilet paper. He had picked it all up and was going to dispose of it for me. "Thank you," I said. "Please throw it in the trash can." He said, "Ok" and ran off. After Annabelle was taken care of, I looked for Jacob and found him in the bathroom standing over the toilet with the toilet brush. "I'm trying to push it down, but it just won't go.....I'm trying to push it down." He decided the toilet paper need to be flushed rather than thrown away. After all, it was toilet paper. Of course, the toilet was clogged. But I couldn't really get mad at him. He was only trying to help; however, I did tell him to throw it in the trash can, not flush it.

A few more Jacob moments:

One day last week while we were eating lunch, Jacob made me laugh so hard. I don't remember what we were talking about, but all of a sudden he said, "Yeah, that's how we do it!" I realize that statement may not seem very funny, but it was the way he said it that made me laugh. It also made me think of that 90's Montell Jordan song...you know the one I'm talking about. So, I started singing that and had a serious laughing attack. All the while Jacob kept asking, "Mommy, what are you laughing for? WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING FOR???"

We were listening to a childrens' radio channel a couple weeks ago when a kids version of Twist and Shout came on. Jacob and Annabelle were dancing and singing to the music when Jacob grabbed his sister, shook her a little (she giggled) and said, "shakin a baby now!" Obviously, he misinterpreted the lyrics. Jacob, I believe the correct words are "shake it up baby now."

Spaghetti was on the dinner menu for the Duncans last week and I had bought some of that sprinkly parmesan cheese. Jacob asked if he could have some.

Jacob: "Can I please may I have some pwapa john cheese?"

Me: "What?"

Jacob: "I want some pwapa john cheese."

Me: "Papa John cheese?" (starting to laugh)

Jacob: "No...not Papa John cheese....PWAPA JOHN cheese!"

Heath let Jacob listen to the Imagination Movers on his ipod the other day and Jacob was so excited to use the earphones. I was in another room when I heard Jacob say, "Can I go show Mommy how cool I look?!?!?!" Wow, Jacob. You were cool already, but with those earphones and that ipod, your coolness factor just jumped off the charts!

Wanna listen Anna-bay-uhl?

As much as he beats up on her, Jacob does love his sister and the sweet moments seem to happen almost as often as the "others." I've mentioned before, he loves to share food with her...even the good stuff. I couldn't believe it, but he was more than willing to share his ice cream. I don't think I even asked him to share. He did it all on his own.

Chubby Bunny Anyone?

With a toddler, each mealtime turns into a game of chubby bunny -- except other foods are substituted for marshmallows. If I were to play Chubby Bunny against Annabelle, she would win...hands down. That girl can stuff an unbelievable amount of food in her mouth. She doesn't play around. Whatever I put on her tray goes straight into her mouth. I'm telling you, she can clean off a tray full of food in a matter of seconds. Amazing. Especially for such a tiny little girl with such a tiny little mouth.

Don't mess with me while I'm having my banana.

Yes, I realize this is a choking hazard. I watch her closely and I've learned to put only a few pieces of food on her tray at a time. Although, she objects to this and screams at me, reaching her hands out for more.

Much like a chipmunk, she also stores food in those little cheeks of hers, saving it for snack at a later time. I have occasionally found her chewing on something only to discover that "something" is a small piece of ground turkey or vegetable or noodle that we had for lunch an hour earlier. I guess it's easier this way. Since she can't really talk yet, if she keeps food in her mouth all the time, she never has to communicate to me when she wants a snack. She's already got one........gross.

Now Let's Find Those Eggs!

Easter is just around the corner now and the events that come with the season have already begun. Last Sunday our church held the annual Spring Social and Easter Egg Hunt. We were all praying for nice weather and since Saturday had been absolutely perfect, things were looking good. But, alas, our warm Hilton Head sunshine turned into gray skies and drizzly rain, and our "just right" temperatures changed to "a little cooler than we would like." Even though the weather was less than desirable, we still had a great time. The egg hunt was simply moved indoors. No big deal. :)

Jacob still doesn't get the concept of hunting eggs. He understands the part about hunting for them, but he doesn't understand that one should hunt and pick up eggs quickly or the eggs will be picked up by other fellow hunters. When the egg hunt began, Jacob was excited and ran into the room, basket in hand. But when he found his first egg, for him, the egg hunt came to a halt. He was focused on that one little egg and what might be inside. Never mind the chaos surrounding him. Heath pushed him along and Jacob eventually did pick up several more eggs. He had a great time and that's what counts.

Annabelle enjoyed herself too. She walked into a room where eggs were almost completely covering the floor. She sat down in the middle of them, and much like her brother, picked up one egg and played happily, trying to get it open. As I attempted to teach her how to pick up the eggs and put them into her little basket, the room was ambushed by several preschoolers, who successfully wiped out any and all remaining eggs in about 6.2 seconds. And after they ran out of the room, what was left? Annabelle, her bunny basket, and her two prized eggs, which she calls "balls." She held up an egg, looked at me with a big grin and said, "bah!" (her word for ball). I actually thought it was cute. I realize, one day, she will be very upset if she comes away from an Easter egg hunt with only two eggs, but for now, she couldn't be happier. :)

Last year, on the way home from the egg hunt, Jacob fell asleep and took a nice long nap. That nap allowed me to go through his eggs, take out the majority of the candy, and refill them with other snacks like cereal, raisins and goldfish. I realize some of you may think I deprived my child by doing this, but Jacob was so excited about his findings when he opened those eggs. He was two years old. I filled them will all his favorite snacks, so of course, he was happy.

This year, I wasn't quite as lucky. He was intent on opening those eggs and he was a little faster than he was a year ago. I was nice and let him open all his eggs before we left church. Besides, little did I know, he would get in trouble the very next day and all his candy would be thrown into the garbage can. Sad.

I knew both Jacob and Annabelle would fall asleep on the way home. It was only a matter of minutes before their eyes closed and their thumbs dropped. Hunting eggs is hard work, you know.