Thursday, December 1, 2011

Ring, ring. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Ring.  Ring.  Ring.  "Hello..."  "Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!"  "Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!!"  "Hold me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  "I want to talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  'Who is it?????"  "Where's my Minnie Mouse????"  "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!"  "Mommy, she stepped on my LEGOs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  "Mommy, he knocked me down!!!!!!!!!!"  "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!"  "Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!"  "I waaaaaaaant a snack!!!!!!!!!!"  "I'm huuuuungry!!!!!!" 

If you've ever spoken with me on the phone, odds are, this is what you've heard -- crying, screaming, fighting, yelling, etc...  Please, don't judge.  The sounds of wailing children you hear in the background (or the foreground) are not my kids.  Whenever the phone rings, aliens come into my house, steal my little angels and replace them with these noisy creatures..  No...really.  I'm serious.

Ok, so that's not completely true.  That is to say, I can not effectively prove this theory since I have not actually seen any aliens.  But, what I do know is the telephone makes my kids crazy.  The second I pick up the phone and say "Hello," I might as well be firing the starting gun.  "Let the crying and fighting BEGIN!"  Perhaps the phone is a threat to them.  They know the person on the other end of that phone has my attention.  While I am on the phone, I can't give either child the attention he / she wants, so they act out in the best way they know how -- yell, fight, scream.  Sounds valid, I guess.

The thing is, their screaming and fighting does not give you an accurate picture of our day (usually).  Sure, we have bad days, but I promise, my kids don't act like that all day long. They dont yell...all the time.  We do have fun.  We play, draw, dance, sing, laugh, learn.  The kids even play together nicely sometimes.  Just this morning, they sat on the floor building with LEGOs together.  Jacob told Annabelle he was going to be a garbage man when he grows up.  Annabelle said she was going to be a real mommy.  Jacob told her she had to have another job besides being a mommy.  He gave her a list of choices and she chose firewoman.  Then they happily continued building.  See?  They don't fight all the time.  Only when I am on the phone.

I suspect my mother-in-law might question my parenting abilities.  If I were her, I certainly would.  I can't remember a time when she's called that my kids weren't crying or screaming about something.  I imagine each time she calls and hears a child throwing a fit, I drop down another level on the "good parent chart."  "Hmmm," she must think to herself.  "Annabelle's screaming again...what in the world is Paula doing to those kids?"  What?  Crying?  My kids?  Crying?  No, I don't hear a thing.  We're all happy here.  Happy, happy.  The noise must be on your end. 

All joking aside, my mother-in-law has been around my kids enough to know the type of behavior or misbehavior they are capable of.  Today, for example, it was time for Annabelle's nap, but since Annabelle had not put her toys away like I asked earlier, I made her clean her room first.  She grew more cranky with each passing minute, but, together, we cleaned her room.  While we were putting toys in the toybox, the phone rang.  I answered.  Annabelle erupted..in dramatic fashion.  I could barely hear the person on the other end of the line, but the caller ID told me it was Grandma.  I am hopeful that one day, she'll call and the kids will be laughing instead of crying. Laughing...or happily doing school work...like this....


or playing with dolls like this...


or singing like this...


Please excuse the nosepick at the end.  Actually, that wasn't my daughter.  My kids don't pick their noses.  It must have been an alien. 

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